You have clicked, you are there … why your love story runs you in your head? Do you think what matters in a relationship is what you are going through today, not how it all started? You are not the only one. But a recent study may well sow a doubt that you did not expect.
What the figures say on digital meetings
Recent research is looking at the link between meeting mode and love well-being. What they show to make it tick: the couples who met online would declare a level of relational satisfaction generally lower than those who have been via their friends, their work or an evening with friends.
Clearly, digital meetings are more and more frequent, they even become the norm for part of the population. But their promise of rapid compatibility, filtered encounters and love within reach of Swipe sometimes seems to face the reality of everyday life in couple.
Some figures argue that almost one in five has met online in recent years. A dynamic which radically transforms our ways of loving, but which, according to the data harvested, is not always synonymous with fulfilled relationship.
Why this difference? A subtle look
So why this paradox? Why so many promises, for sometimes less happiness? First, because an online meeting is often anchored in a context of rapid search, sometimes utilitarian. You are looking for, you have matches, you discuss … you advance. But in this speed, some deep ties may run out of time to build.
Add some social pressure to that. Many say that they dare not say that they met via an app. There is this little embarrassment at the idea that it is “not very romantic”, “not like in the films”. This can, casually, alter the perception that we have of his own couple.
And then there is the window effect: the apps confront us with an infinity of possibilities, which can give the impression that the grass is always greener elsewhere. Even as a couple, this idea remains in a corner of the head.
But beware: nothing is frozen. These are just trends, not verdicts. And if you read it saying “it doesn’t concern us at all”, so much the better. Love is not just a algorithm.
And you, what can you remember?
You don’t have to doubt your story just because it started behind a screen. What matters is not so much the starting point, but everything you have built afterwards. What you are experiencing on a daily basis, the way you communicate, which you support yourself, it weighs much heavier than the “meeting place” box.
If you feel that the base is there, that you can be yourself, speak freely, feel listened to, then your relationship is already ahead of many others. App or not.
And then let’s be honest: there are also unfortunate couples encountered “in real life”. What makes the difference are shared values, commitment, patience, and this desire to be two, despite doubts, despite the world that goes fast.
So if you fell in love behind a screen, it is neither a tare nor a weakness. It’s just an era. And the era does not write your story for you. It’s you, it’s you.
Photo credit: @Shutterstock
